5 Reasons Why People Get Offended and the Truths That Set Us Free

5 Reasons Why People Get Offended and the Truths That Set Us Free

Political correctness has gotten out of hand.

We’re either offending someone or being offended by someone and it’s tearing the world apart one individual at a time.

Why is it that some people never seem to be offended by anything while others are so sensitive they’re offended by the way another breathes.

In a nutshell, I believe it’s because…

“Being easily offended is often a caused by an undistinguished, self-centered view of the world.”

Worse yet, it’s this self centered view that keeps us enslaved to this need to walk through a world where everyone agrees with us or our feelings get hurt.

Fortunately, this is also great news!


Because it means that we’re the cause of our feelings. And if I am the cause, then I am also the one who holds the power to change.

Let’s look a bit deeper into what’s really going on…

5 Reasons We Get Offended

Below, I’ve listed 5 Reasons I get offended.

See if any of these resonate with you.

Also below, I cover how we can choose to see the world differently and therefore reduce the time we spend being offended.

This matters because the more time we spend being offended, the less time we have to impact the world the way we were created to impact the world.

And there is nothing the devil would like more than to see us wallow around in the quagmire of being offended precisely because it takes us out of the real fight — the fight to serve others through being the champions we were created to be.

So let me show you where I get trapped and then you can decide if any of these apply to you…

ONE… I Don’t ASSUME the best. Not everyone is a master wordsmith. Some people have a knack of saying things the wrong way. Until I’m certain, it is more powerful for me to assume that the potential offender had the best of intentions, yet poor technique. Focus on the intent of the comment – not the actual words or tone.

TRUTH: Assumptions can cause all sorts of challenges. It’s more powerful and more useful for me to avoid assuming the worst until I have facts to back up those beliefs. Even then, I may be better served to simply move on.

TWO…  I Don’t ACKNOWLEDGE the other person might be right. I do not enjoy being  criticized, and I certainly deserve it at times. I am still growing and learning every day.

TRUTH: What’s more powerful is to dive deeper into the criticism and find the truth in it so that I can use it for personal growth.

THREE… I Don’t ASK myself why I feel offended in the first place. What’s the cause? If I’m offended that my friend is 20 minutes late, what is the source of my frustration? Is it the inconvenience? Is it the belief that my friend doesn’t respect my time (and therefore I’m not worthy of respect)? Could it be my belief that responsible people are timely, and I don’t like irresponsible people (perhaps because I see myself as irresponsible in some other area)?

TRUTH: I may be the source of my own irritation. The more convinced I am things should be a certain way, the more often I’ll be disappointed in others.

FOUR… I Don’t APPRECIATE others as they are – right now. No one is walking around the planet trying to make me miserable. Everyone is living their life in their own way. At times, our lives intersect, and the opportunity for someone to be unhappy is present. Some people may be too rough, shallow, successful, powerful or too cheap for my tastes, and chances are they’re likely not impressed with me either. That’s ok.

Instead I can give everyone the space they need to operate in their own way. I’ll receive more acceptance if I give more acceptance.

TRUTH: I can choose to see everyone as “perfect” for where they are in life. I have no idea the background, the pain, the wins, the losses they’ve been through. They see the world the way they see the world for a very legitimate reason. Even if it’s not the most effective way to see the world, it may be what keeps them moving through their world.

FIVE… I Don’t ACCEPT myself. Often times, I’m offended because I don’t like the truth. I don’t want to be called fat, lazy, cowardly or impatient. But sometimes I display those attributes in my life. I just don’t like to be reminded of it!

TRUTH: I can learn to accept my lack of showing up powerfully as an opportunity for improvement instead of a shortcoming or character flaw. This allows me to embrace any comments and not be so easily offended.

An African proverb states, “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.”

You see, the degree to which I can appreciate and accept myself determines how easily I can brush off  otherwise “offensive” remarks.

Here’s the bottom line…

When you and I can accept our imperfections, and those of others, it’s very difficult to be offended. It’s important to give yourself and others the space to be themselves right now, right where they are.

In your corner,

Coach Sean McCool

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